Every time you become romantically involved with someone, what many fail to fully acknowledge is that most people have had several romantic relationships before you came along. Usually, what has been left is a series of half-made buildings – some of them greatly decayed/decaying because they were half-erected and abandoned so long ago. Someone else moved in and didn’t necessarily start building on the last erection (no pun/all puns intended) but, rather likely, began building in another part of the ‘city’.

If your person has had enough people building in their respective cities, by the time you come on the scene, all you see is an uneven hodge-podge of partially completed/partially decaying bombed-out looking buildings; the soul of which this individual haunts the hollowed, abandoned rooms that once held hope and promise.

The obvious solution is to raze the city! Knock down all the former edifices and start afresh!!

But you can only do that if the ‘city’ grants you permits to do so. Some cities never want to be repaired. Whenever there is neglect and disrepair in the midst of seeming organization, someone is doubtlessly profiting from the disorder and sees less benefit or profit to putting things right. Some people like to roam the haunted mansions of yesterday for it is where darkness and evil have learned to dwell. Corruption feeds upon corruption there. Simply put, they like it like that.

If you are wanting anything more than a passing fling with this person, you must know (sooner rather than later if you ask me) if he/she wants to start afresh. Are they willing to have their town torn down and earth turned over? You may not be the one to do the construction. You may be the client or an interested bystander. Real talk: I’d caution against grabbing some overalls and a hardhat unless you REALLY feel you are the one for the job.

Either way, before you give your heart, let their actions and not their words be your barometer. If you can both be patient and allow time for the internal work that needs to be done, then you will either have a glorious city worth moving to or you’ll have saved yourself the costs and pain of relocating just to have to pick up and move on again.