FACEBOOK SAYS ON THIS DAY: JULY 6, 2018… 

Recently, a friend told me that all my pics seem to show what looks like me just living my best life all the time. She said it might make it harder for people to relate because it always looks like nothing but good stuff is always happening. She’s right.

Unfortunately, I’m not really one who takes pics when I’m crying or jumps online to work through my emotions (zero shade here…well, maybe a little) so most don’t see that side but TRUST! It happens often and it goes deep lol! Honestly, after wading through the darkness of grief and despair for years, I’m f’ing relieeeved to be able to smile again. I thought those days were gone forever. But still, if you never know the pain, how can you know the sweetness of the victory?

Last year, I went to LA for my bday and to spend 4th of July with my peeps (and get my hair done 💁🏽‍♀️ Thanks K!). My friends had surprised me with a series of hand-painted quotes - re-creations of words of encouragement, vision & direction for my life I’d gotten during prayer and meditation - and I was planning how to transport all 10-15 of them back to Cabo without paying a bunch of airline fees. On the afternoon of July 3rd - two days before I was to fly back - my recurring convo with God over when I should release Jermaine’s ashes came back to my heart. It had been more than 3 1/2 years since he’d passed away and no time or place had seemed...well...right. 

So I asked again. ‘Is it time now?’ Yes, I felt. ‘OK! Should I do it here in LA or go back to Cabo?’ Either was fine with me. Cabo had been our favorite vacation spot for years after all.

Suddenly, I saw myself making my way thru LAX - prophetic, forward-moving, life-giving paintings in my right hand and Jermaine’s urn under my left arm - and heard ‘NO EXTRA BAGGAGE’ boom loudly and clearly in my spirit. I knew what it meant instantly:

YOU CANNOT WALK IN NEW LIFE

WHILE DRAGGING DEATH WITH YOU.

Ugh! 

The next day, Independence Day, our friends, Clarissa and Kendra, and Jermaine’s sister, Jennifer, were led to the perfect spot in the IE to say our farewells. This is that day. I’m holding Jermaine’s urn and those are real smiles. After long days, nights and years of tears - most of them when no one but God was around to hear - what you’re looking at is a former catastrophically-broken heart that’s been healed. Yeah...that’s real thankfulness. That’s real joy. 

That’s the reason for the smiles and this is my testimony: God Is A Healer. And, if He’ll do it for me, He’ll do it for you. Because I’m not special. 

So I’ll be sure to show & tell more of the whole story moving forward but if anybody’s waiting for me to dim down the wattage on the shine, STOP! 😄 I can’t. It was too expensive to get. Besides, CeCe said it best, ‘You don’t know the cost of the oil in my alabaster box...’ 

🎼

Ohhhhhh…

Smile a while and give your face a rest

Lift your hands to the One you love the best!

Then shake hands with someone nearbyyyyy…

And SMILE SMILE SMILE!!

🎼