Reborne
born: /adj/ - to be brought into life by birth
borne: /adj/ - to be carried by someone or something
The first time I came to Kauai in 2016, and unbeknownst to me, I was in the middle of my first rebirthing.
I had been doing this crazy thing leading up to the trip: recording myself as I cried up and down the 405 freeway in Los Angeles for a year because God had said so.
I had sat in terrible L.A. traffic pouring out all the grief, confusion, shock, and fury of suddenly losing people I’d loved as I made my daily commute to and from Century City; a place as stony and brittle as my heart was then.
LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT - 2016
A year later, and I was on the emerald island of my fantasies (!!) in a Balinese-styled beach house just outside of Princeville. Nestled beneath junior palm fronds, I transcribed tearful pleas and circumstance-defying declarations of faith from a person with my voice but whom I didn’t recognize.
'Who was this woman?!’ I thought. I felt so sorry for her. She was soooo sad.
And right then - in that instant - that’s when I knew I’d been being healed the whole time. That woman was ME - that was my voice! - and I didn’t recognize myself.
I was floored. What had happened? And when had it happened?
“I had sat in terrible L.A. traffic pouring out all the grief and fury of suddenly losing people I’d loved...”
When had the abject misery and despair I was listening to - that I remembered knowing would never end - become something unrecognizable?
STAYING AT HOME - 2020
In the quiet sanctity of that moment, I realized that, through all the uncertainty of my recent (and even distant) past, I had somehow stumbled upon something that would work for (daresay, heal?) me when I was oblivious to its presence.
When I had no capacity to remember to do anything but breathe and eat, the loving hand of God was tending to my darkest brokenness silently…gently in the background. And I didn’t even remember asking Him to do it.
But He must have interpreted that ‘Heeelllppp!!’ I would scream every now and then between bouts of depression, days-long cryfests, and suicidal thoughts as my ask. He is God. And He does love us. I think He could make that leap.
No - I don’t remember asking for help but I do remember one thing: Giving up.
One of the quietest places ever…
I remember being too weak to fight - myself, life, God, all of it - and just doing what I knew and could do every day: breathe, eat, go to work, go home, and hit record when the waves hit me on the 405.
“When I had no capacity to do anything but breathe and eat, God was tending to my darkest brokenness...”
Fast forward - it’s 2022. I’ve just finished a six-month writing course, I’m in Kauai again - staying at the same beach house that has been the staging ground for so many rebirths since that first one - and those crazy audio recordings have become a book called ‘Finding Your GLOW’ that’s now in front of editors, agents and publishers! All that grief, all that pain, and those tiny TINY slivers of hope…wow. Just wow.
WORK IN PROGRESS - 2020
God had given me one simple charge that didn’t make sense at all but I did it anyway. Through the grief and the fear and the hopelessness and even the ‘I just don’t feel like it’, I did the one thing God said. And doing that is leading to more and more healing in my own heart and beyond. Can you even just believe it?!
It’s been almost seven years since that first visit to Kauai and, while almost everything else in the world has changed - especially in the last couple of years - one thing stays true as I look back: I hardly recognize myself.
It’s a full circle moment and I am bearing witness as a living witness to another healing. I am being REBORNE.
REBORNE AGAIN - 2022
God is good. And faithful, Loves. He will carry you through.
And there’s answered hope and full healing on the other side of His love and our ask 🌿 Only believe.
ONLY BELIEVE…
Hi GLOWers! ✨ I hope this touched you and has given you good reason to hope and rest more in your mind while you heal. I’ve prayed that each person who reads this receives healing for whatever ails, answers to their problems, a release of power to make wrong things right, and for God to show up mightily in your life. There’s no time or distance in the Spirit so it’ll work for you no matter when you read this. All you have to do is say “I receive it,” and your agreement activates the word in your life. Remember: Everything will work out. Hold on, lean into God..it’s gonna work out.
Wanted to ask: Have you been experiencing healing lately? How is it showing up in your life? What’s one thing you feel God has said that would unlock more for you? Share in the comments 💕🦋
With love,
Shannon
P.S. Some exciting things have been happening with my book, ‘Finding Your GLOW’, that I’ll be sharing in the weeks ahead. I know it’s going to be a light out for some (hopefully many!) and that’s the one thing I hope it does. Wish US luck! 🙏
And check out the gallery below for some Kauai pics!
#GodsLoveOverWoMen #FindingYourGLOW #Godlovesyou #healing #REBORNE
