Now Go!

Every single day is different now. It wasn’t always that way. I remember when every single day was exactly the same.

I cried a lot in those days. Not out loud. But inside. I cried a lot in those days as I silently acknowledged that a life I didn’t know how to dream up was somehow still slipping away from me.

I was happy. I wasn’t sad. And yet I still could see the shadow of the person I was incapable of not becoming floating along through a life I didn’t know how I’d created. 

I was Snoop Dogg’s business manager for seven years just three years ago. I had worked with Janet Jackson, and Prince, and Me’Shell NdegeOcello, and Taj Mahal, and a whole host of celebrities ranging from Jimmy Iovine to Warren G to Britney Spears for many years.

I had a good life. I made some good money. But there she was…that shadow girl. I only recognize her so clearly now because of the full and bright sunshiny day I find myself standing in today. 

My routines were safe. They kept me secure in my mind even as they kept me fastened to my bronze-version life. The ‘major shifts’ in my life then – and, indeed, they were major shifts – have appeared as barely registering on the Richter scale by my today’s standards.

I’d asked for this. I didn’t know it at the time of my asking. It didn’t sound like that at all. It sounded like groaning. Deep, unsatisfied, guttural groaning. And it wouldn’t stop. 

The answers didn’t look like answers at all. No one would call them that just by looking at them. But if you look with the eyes of your spirit – where right sometimes looks wrong and up sometimes looks down – you can see it. There it is. There’s the answer… catastrophe, calamity, pain.

Sometimes tearing the building down is the only way to keep it from falling down on its own – burdened by its own decay – and harming innocent bystanders too close to the demo zone. 

No newly demolished site looks like the gleaming building and grounds it’s destined to become. That secret is cleverly hidden in the mind of the architect – s/he who sees the end of a thing before the beginning. There is process. There is dirt. There is patience. And then there’s an end. 

And now today is different. Different from the day before that and different still from the day before that. Tomorrow will be different too. So will the day after that.

This kind of life is not for everyone but the reason for this kind of life is common to all man: that deep sense of knowing – that deep groaning within – that says I was made for more than this. The image in my Creator’s eye was more than what I see in my life.

It says that if I could just have some clue – some voice that says there’s a safe landing on the other side – I’d do it. Dammit I’d take the leap! 

Well, here it is…!! You ready?!?

L E E E E E E E E E A A A A A A P P P P P P ! ! ! !

There is a safe landing on the other side. I’m not saying it’s not going to be bumpy or scary or require you to become versions of yourself you never knew you’d need to become to stay in mid-air but I AM saying that, IF you do and WHEN you land, safety will find you!

Ask God for help. Use wisdom. Don’t be afraid. Don’t Be Afraid! Believe in yourself. Believe in the love of God over your life.

NOW GO!