Happy Anniversary?
MY FAVORITE WATERFALL - ROAD TO HANA, MAUI
Last Tuesday would have been my 16th wedding anniversary.
It’s almost 7 1/2 years since my husband, Jermaine, passed away yet I still either have to brace myself ahead of time against memorable moments or forget and get spin-cycled through the day/week/whatever. It ain’t how it used to be but still…
THE BRIDE & GROOM - WEDDING DAY 2006
This time, I spent the day:
being shocked it was THAT day
being crazy while trying not to be
appreciating the gift of love that was Mr. Rollins ❤️
listening to an audio journal I made in 2017 and suddenly understanding my 2022 #speakthosethings
alternating between caring for myself amidst a new healing season of “dad issues’ and holding space for ppl I love who are healing too
seeking God’s calm and voice
getting a massage
trying not to be angry at the middle-aged/non POC gay masseuse from Northern Cali who equated - and insisted on discussing during my massage - her recent arrest for naked drunkenness at a resort jacuzzi during Spring Break to the arrest, beating and murder of #SandraBland I s*** you not 😓
remembering + celebrating the good things coming down my road and the victories I see in others’ journeys
trying to balance, overcome anxiety, and LIVE in dramatically shifting sociological spaces where few ppl look like me
crying & generally being overwhelmed
“...I still either have to brace myself or forget and get spin-cycled through the day/week/whatever.”
Whew chile…. ‘‘twas a lot.
I know many - if not most - of us are trying to simultaneously navigate a new reality while coping with grief and heartbreaking loss.
Is that you?
If so, I just want you to know I’m praying for you - for us - today and sending extra love so you know you’re not alone. You’re not forgotten. You are loved.
Be brave. Be good to you. God loves you 💞 And so do I.
Have a gooooood day, baby. And as #TabithaBrown says ‘Even if you can’t have a good one, don’t u dare go out and mess up nobody else’s, ya’ hear?’ Lol
Ttys…
~ S